Virginia Is For Hansons

I've always been a person who remembers dates. I'm a big "on -this-day-so-many-years-ago-we-were-fill-in-the-blank" kinda girl. Most of those memories make me smile.  But some hit a little harder.  This morning I woke up and realized today was six weeks since I last talked to mom. It was August 7th. It was Kathy's birthday. I had just gotten in the car and I heard the voicemail she left me while I was at work. I called her right back, which I didn't always do, and we had the best talk.   She asked about the new house, and about work and the kids, and then we talked about her mom. I asked her how she was doing with with everything - my grandma dying and the "big house" going up for sale. She said she was ok.  I won't ever forget her saying, "I'm really doing ok. I just miss talking to my mom. I never did much of the talking toward the end, I just listened and let her talk. But I miss that".  Little did I know that 48 hours later, she...

My biggest worry coming back to Virginia from Texas was leaving my mom behind. Not in the physical sense, but in the sense that there were so many signs from her back home. The cardinals, the hummingbirds, the rosaries that I found in every drawer, the seat in her car moving me into her position every time I drove it. Those all felt like little reminders that she was with me.  Coming back here, I worried that she wouldn't follow me.  I know that's not how it works, but these days my heart and my mind aren't connecting the way they did before August 10th. I know it won't be like this forever, but for right now, reality feels very foggy and very distant.  This morning Matt and I went for a walk around the neighborhood where we're staying. It's a nice wooded neighborhood with a few trails. As we were walking I was thinking about my mom. Thinking about taking her flowers and seeing her headstone the next time I'm back home in Texas. As we kept walking and I kept...